Three Ficlets
by Davenrood
Summary: Fic One: The Slumber Party - The Hogwarts Teaching Staff has a slumber party. What will ensue?
1. Fic One The Slumber Party

Title: Three Ficlets: Fic One - The Slumber Party  
  
Author: Davenrood  
  
Rating:  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything because J.K. Rowling owns it all, except for what she doesn't own.  
  
Comments: For all of you who are following my other fic "Adventures in Life Drawing" the next chapter will be here soon. I've been sick, and a bit busy with my new job, so I apologize profusely. Here are three extremely silly ficlets that I've put together and named, the appropriately titled, Three Ficlets.  
  
This first ficlet is extremely silly and there are several lines that are out of character...specially for dumbledore, or maybe not...he is a rather odd one.  
  
(... means dead silence. !!! Means...excitement by generally everyone....duh.)  
  
Three Ficlets: Fic One - The Slumber Party  
  
"I can't believe this is happening."  
  
Albus shook his head, "Now, now, Severus. This will be a delightful night."  
  
Snape sighed deeply. "Somehow I doubt that..."  
  
Albus just patted his younger coleague on the arm and directed him to his sleeping bag. It was covered with blue and green fairies. The rest of the Hogwarts teaching staff were sitting in their pajamas next to similar sleeping bags, with leprechauns and veelas decorating the fabric. Dumbledore's had little green snakes and glittery bats.  
  
"Alright, now that we are all gathered," the Headmaster said, "The slumber party can now commence!"  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
"Commence!"  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Albus shook his head. "Come now...we are here to have fun. That is why I planned this for you all. Fun for the teachers before the students get here!"  
  
"Respectfully, Headmaster, I don't think that spending a night with Snape is what I'd call fun," Lupin stated with a blank face. Several other professors nodded their agreeance. Snape's face turned an odd shade of red.  
  
"I'm not fun? I'm NOT FUN?! Well, then I'll drink the Alcoholic Butterbeer ALL.BY.MY.SELF!"  
  
!!!  
  
"Butterbeer? Of course you're fun, Severus." McGonnagall flashed him her nicest smile, but spoke mechanically. "I would love to share in light- heartedness and trivialities with you."  
  
"Me, too."  
  
"Me, three!"  
  
"Me....want....Butterbeer." Everyone looked at the last person. "What?" Albus snapped. "It's good drinkin!"  
  
Snape hugged the Butterbeer to his chest with a possessive frown. "What do I get in return for my beer?"  
  
McGonnagall shrugged. "We'll like you a little bit?"  
  
...  
  
"Good enough for me," Snape said, happy in his own little Snapey way. "Butterbeer all around!"  
  
***2 hours later***  
  
"And I can't believe I drank this whole bottle again!" Snape slammed down his fourth bottle of Butterbeer and grabbed another. "Give us a kissy, Lupin."  
  
Lupin stared at Snape with wide eyes. "...OKAY!"  
  
Meanwhile:  
  
"I'm the leprechaun! I'm the leprechaun!"  
  
Flitwick was running about the room chasing Hooch and Trelawney with a candle held beneath his face. The two professors were screaming and giggling.  
  
"I'm the leprechaun!"  
  
"Stop that, Flitwick," Vector said, meekly. "You're scaring me."  
  
Flitwick stopped. "I'm sorry, Vector. I really didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"That's alright. Apology accepted."  
  
Flitwick smiled. "I'm so glad........because I'M THE LEPRECHAUN!!!!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Meanwhile:  
  
"I drank the whole bottle again! But it keeps filling back up," Snape told Lupin. "It's so WEIRD!!!!"  
  
McGonnagall ran to the center of the sleeping bag circle and shouted, "TIME FOR TRUTH OR DARE!"  
  
!!!  
  
"Okay!" The whole group ran to their sleeping bags. Albus cleared his throat.  
  
"I'm The Man, so I get go f-"  
  
"Excuse me," Snape interrupted. "But I think The Man is me."  
  
Albus glared at him. "But I'm the Headmaster, and I can fire you."  
  
"And you are The Man."  
  
"That's what I thought. Anyway," Albus continued. "Sybil. Truth or Dare?"  
  
"My far seeing eye tells me that I do not want to perform your Dare, and that I must pick Truth."  
  
"Why do you like Divination so much?"  
  
Everyone stared intently at Trelawney. Her eyes darted from person to person until she finally broke down.  
  
"Alright! I did so well in the class in school because I could make things up in Divination! That's why I love it so much!"  
  
"I knew it," muttered Minerva. She crossed her arms smugly. Trelawney, however caught this little muttering and turned her eyes to the Deputy Headmistress.  
  
"Minerva...Truth or Dare? You will choose Dare of course."  
  
"That is ridiculous, Sybil... I wasn't...oh, fine. I was...I was going to choose Dare. Happy?"  
  
Trelawney smiled smugly. "I dare you to kiss Snape's bare feet."  
  
Minerva looked like she was going to cry. "This isn't fair. Albus-"  
  
"Minerva. I'm surprised at you," he reprimanded. "Truth or Dare is a sacred game, and once you have entered into it, you cannot back out."  
  
"Fine! Severus... take off your socks..."  
  
Snape did so, a wicked grin on his face. He wiggled his little alabaster white toes at her. With a grimace she leaned over and kissed both feet as quickly as possible.  
  
"That," Snape said, "Was the best moment in my whole life."  
  
"I'll obliviate that memory later," McGonnagall muttered softly. "My turn. Remus. Truth or Dare?"  
  
Lupin sat up with excitement. "Um....Truth! No...Dare! No.........Dare!"  
  
"Stop! Okay....I dare you to....erm....to....I can't think of one."  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. "That's because you're boring."  
  
McGonnagall glared daggers at him. "I am not boring! Fine! Remus, I dare you to do a striptease for Severus!"  
  
Lupin stared at McGonnagall with wide eyes. "...OKAY!"  
  
"STOP!"  
  
Everyone turned slowly towards Dumbledore who was frowning. "That is unacceptable, Minerva."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts."  
  
"But I had to-"  
  
"No."  
  
"But I kissed-"  
  
"No stripping."  
  
"-feet."  
  
"NO!"  
  
There was a chorus of 'awwwwwws' from the teachers, the loudest coming from Snape.  
  
"I think it is high time we got some rest." Albus said sternly. "Tomorrow, after all, is the welcoming of the students and the feast."  
  
There were a few more 'awws' but most everyone had passed out between 'Tomorrow' and 'welcoming.' Everyone else began to settle down into their sleeping bags, but somehow, Lupin ended up in the fairy sleeping bag with Snape.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
"...and I can't believe I drank the whole bottle again!"  
  
END of Fic One  
  
*****  
  
Next Fic: Fic Two - While You Were Out  
  
Something very major happens when Harry and Ron are vacationing in America before their 7th year. Hermione fills them in... 


	2. Fic Two While You Were Out

Title: Three Ficlets: Fic Two - While You Were Out  
  
Author: Davenrood  
  
Rating: pg-13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything because J.K. Rowling owns it all, except for what she doesn't own.  
  
Comments: For all of you who are following my other fic "Adventures in Life Drawing" the next chapter will be here soon. I've been sick, and a bit busy with my new job, so I apologize profusely. Here are three extremely silly ficlets that I've put together and named, the appropriately titled, Three Ficlets.  
  
The title of this fic "While You Were Out" is not intended to be a pun about homosexuality. This is not a Ron/Harry. Blech...I don't like that pairing. SS/HP yes, RW/HP no.  
  
Something very major happens when Harry and Ron are vacationing in America before their 7th year. Hermione fills them in...  
  
Fic Two - While You Were Out  
  
Harry and Ron ran through the barrier at Platform 9 3/4 just a minute before Eleven o'clock.  
  
"Bloody muggly airplanes," Ron muttered as they stowed their things and hopped aboard, barely pausing to kiss his mum on the cheek. "If we'd taken flying carpet, we would have been back in plenty of time."  
  
Harry shook his head. "No complaining Ron. You said you wanted to have the 'full muggle experience,' remember?"  
  
Ron shrugged his shoulders and began to look for a compartment, particularily one that contained Hermione Granger.  
  
"I suppose you're right, Harry. Anyhow, I can't wait to tell Hermione about it. She'll be thrilled."  
  
Harry nodded. "I wonder what happened with her while we were away. It was so strange to be cut off from everyone for a whole summer."  
  
"But worth it," Ron put in. "That was the first relaxed summer I've ever had, not having to worry about goings on at the Burrow, or Hermione's Summer X-tra Credit, or-"  
  
"Or where the heck Sirius is now," Harry cut in. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Although now, I'm wondering how much went on."  
  
As they passed another compartment they looked in to see Colin Creevy surrounded by five girls and even one boy. They were all staring at him intently as he waved his arms and then pulled down his collar to show them a scar on his chest. One of the girls took a photo of him.  
  
"Now that," Harry said, "Is odd. Let's find out what happened-"  
  
"HARRY! RON! I thought you'd missed the train." Hermione bounded up to her friends, grabbed their arms and steered them to the back of the train and into the last compartment. To their surprise, Malfoy was sitting in the compartment as well. Hermione sat down next to him and stared expectantly at Ron and Harry until they, too, sat down.  
  
There was a moment of silence before Hermione exclaimed, "Me first! We can hear about your trip later."  
  
"But it was interesting," Ron protested.  
  
"Trust me, Weasel," Malfoy spoke for the first time. "Our summer was definately more interesting than your rubbish vacation. Let Hermione talk."  
  
Ron's mouth fell open in shock and Hermione took the moment of silence to her advantage to blurt out:  
  
"Voldemort is gone! Forever!"  
  
"WHAT?!" It was Harry's turn to be shocked. "How...How could- But I wasn't..."  
  
Hermione laughed. "If you'll shut up I'll tell you all about it."  
  
Harry shut up.  
  
"Well, at the beginning of the summer, Draco decided he'd had enough of his father and came to Dumbledore with some juicy information. It was enough to get Mr. Malfoy, but not quite enough to find Voldemort. So Dumbledore started a little task force, comprised of Mr. Weasley, Professor Lupin, Professor Snape, Hagrid, Draco, and...me."  
  
"Merlin's whiskers!"  
  
"Shut up, Ron. I'm not finished. So we set up base in the school, because it's so safe and all. We were in this marvellous room that I'd never seen. I don't think it was even mentioned in Hogwarts: A Hist-"  
  
"Hermione," Malfoy said softly. "The story."  
  
"Right...sorry. Anyway, we planned this brilliant attack that involved luring Voldemort himself to the school. So we needed you, Harry."  
  
"But I was-"  
  
"In America. And you refused to take owls, so we had to come up with another plan. We made someone look like you."  
  
"Not-"  
  
"Colin Creevy. You have to admit, as he's grown up, the resemblance is rather striking. So we dressed him up, changed his hair, gave him glasses and a scar. It was brilliant. You would have laughed your knickers off."  
  
"I'm not laughing now."  
  
"Hush...I'm almost done. Well, a couple weeks ago, Voldemort launched his attack. All the adults were knocked out by a spell that only affects full grown wizards. I'd never heard of it before. That left Colin, Draco and me. Then DracoandIgotlockedinaroombyourselves yadda yadda yadda...and Colin defeated Voldemort."  
  
Hermione shifted her eyes with a blush to the window.  
  
"What?!" Both boys leant forward in their seats.  
  
"What do you mean, Colin defeated Voldemort?" Harry crossed his arms moodily. Ron however was more suspicious.  
  
"What was that 'yadda yadda yadda' part," the red-head asked. "What was it?"  
  
"Colin defeated Voldemort somehow...we don't know how, and he won't tell us," Hermione offered.  
  
"That's rediculous," Harry fumed.  
  
"I'll say," Ron said, "You still won't tell me what the 'yadda yadda yadda' part is!"  
  
"Alright," Hermione burst out, "Draco is my boyfriend!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
The exclaimation came not only from Harry and Ron, but from most of the train. A stampede of students crowded about the compartment door, trying to get a look at the oddity.  
  
"That's right," Draco said, putting an arm around Hermione. "This hot little number is my girl. Have a problem with that Weasel?"  
  
Ron, fuming even more than before, noticed a wild glint in Malfoy's eye. "No," he lied, his fists clenched tightly.  
  
"Good. Oh, Harry, I was wondering if you wanted to look into some apartments this year," Draco said. "My father's a deadbeat, you don't have a family...at least not a good one, so I figured we could get an apartment and fend our way come graduation."  
  
The crowd of students fell on the floor in shock.  
  
"But you hate me," Harry informed him. Malfoy shook his head.  
  
"Not anymore. You didn't defeat Voldemort, so no one cares about you much now. You aren't the Golden Boy. No more popularity...no more hating you. And my father's an arse...I realize that now. It's all that easy. So we have no quarrel."  
  
"But you hate me?" Ron asked with a pout. Malfoy nodded.  
  
"You want my girl. It's obvious. And you can't have her."  
  
Hermione sighed and put her head on Malfoy's shoulder. "That is so sweet, Draco."  
  
At that moment the train pulled to a stop and all the students filed out into the sunlight. As Harry, Ron, Hermione and Malfoy headed to a carriage that would take them to the school, Harry spotted Colin Creevy.  
  
"There's that little twit. He's acting like a diva, and those girls are taking photos of him! ...I'll be right back."  
  
Harry ran toward the boy. "Oy! Colin. I want to-"  
  
Colin turned abpruptly, a haughty look upon his face and interrupted.  
  
"Please- Harry, no pictures."  
  
END of Fic Two  
  
*****  
  
Next Fic: Fic Three - Harry Potter: A New Empire Strikes the Return of Hope  
  
What if George Lucas wrote Harry Potter? There'd probably be a lot more action figures... 


End file.
